“Meri kahani mein tumhara naam shayad kahin likha na mile, kyunki kuch mohabbatein lafzon mein nahi likhi jaati… woh har us jagah mehsoos hoti hain, jahan likhne wala kuch kehne se pehle khamosh ho jaata hai.”
-Zulfikar Inamdar
🖤 “Agar Main Apni Kahani Likhun…”
Arz kiya hai…
Aaj dil ne kaha,
“Chal… apni kahani likhte hain…”
Main kagaz lekar baith toh gaya,
Magar der tak qalam haath mein khamosh raha…
Samajh hi nahi aaya
Kahani shuru kahan se karun…
Us bachpan se,
Jahan chhoti-chhoti cheezon mein
Puri duniya mil jaaya karti thi…
Ya us umr se,
Jahan duniya toh badi hoti gayi,
Magar mere hisse ki khushiyan
Chhoti hoti chali gayin…
Socha apne khwab likhun…
Phir yaad aaya,
Kuch khwab aankhon mein sajaaye zaroor the,
Magar unhe haqeeqat banne ka
Mauka hi kahan mila…
Kuch waqt ne tod diye,
Kuch halaat ne cheen liye,
Aur kuch maine khud hi dafan kar diye
Sirf apno ko khush dekhne ke liye…
Phir socha apne logon ke baare mein likhun…
Magar wahan bhi
Qalam ruk gaya…
Kyunki jinhe “apna” likhna chahta tha,
Unmein se kuch waqt ke saath gair ho gaye…
Aur kuch aise gair mile,
Jinhone bina koi rishta maange
Apno se zyada mera haal samjha…
Tab pata chala—
Rishte khoon se zaroor bante honge,
Magar apnapan sirf dil se banta hai…
Phir socha
Apni mohabbat likhun…
Bas yahin aakar
Meri ungliyan kaanp gayin…
Kyunki kuch mohabbatein
Kahani nahi hoti,
Woh insaan ke andar
Ek poori zindagi ban kar reh jaati hain…
Ek aisa naam
Jise duniya ke saamne lene ka haq na ho,
Magar tanhai mein
Dil har baar wahi pukare…
Ek aisa chehra
Jise roz dekhna naseeb mein na ho,
Magar aankhein band karo
Toh sabse pehle wahi nazar aaye…
Ek aisa rishta
Jiska duniya ki kisi kitaab mein
Koi naam na ho…
Magar dil ki kitaab kholo
Toh har safhe par
Usi ka zikr mile…
Socha likh doon
Ke kitni mohabbat thi…
Phir laga,
Mohabbat ko lafzon mein naapna
Uski tauheen hogi…
Kyunki kuch ehsaas
“I love you” keh dene se bhi
Poore nahi hote…
Woh toh bas
Kisi ki khairiyat sun kar milne wale sukoon mein,
Uski udaasi dekhkar hone wali bechaini mein,
Aur apni dua ke darmiyan
Achanak uska naam aa jaane mein samajh aate hain…
Phir socha
Apni tanhaiyaan likhun…
Woh raatein likhun
Jab sab so rahe the
Aur main apne hi sawaalon ke saath jaag raha tha…
Woh takiya likhun
Jisne mere aansu dekhe
Magar kabhi kisi se mera raaz nahi kaha…
Woh chhat likhun
Jise ghanton dekhte hue
Main khud ko samjhata raha—
“Bas… kal sab theek ho jaayega.”
Aur ajeeb baat dekho…
Kal aata raha,
Magar woh “sab theek” wala din
Pata nahi kis raaste mein reh gaya…
Phir socha
Apni muskurahat ke baare mein likhun…
Woh muskurahat
Jise dekhkar log kehte hain—
“Tum toh bahut khush rehte ho…”
Kaash woh jaan paate
Ke kuch muskurahatein khushi nahi hoti…
Woh aansuon ke liye
Chehre par banaya hua parda hoti hain…
Kai baar mehfil mein
Sabse zyada main hi hansa hoon…
Aur usi raat
Sabse zyada khamosh bhi main hi raha hoon…
Duniya ne meri hansi dekhi,
Magar mere kamre ki tanhai nahi…
Mere lafz sune,
Magar lafzon ke beech ki khamoshi nahi…
Mera chehra padha,
Magar aankhon mein chhupi
Woh adhoori kahani nahi…
Phir socha
Un logon ka zikr karun
Jinhone mujhe dard diya…
Magar dil ne kaha—
“Rehne de…
Jinhe tera dard samajhna hota,
Woh tujhe dard dete hi kyun?”
Aur qalam phir ruk gaya…
Kyunki shikayat bhi
Usi se ki jaati hai
Jiske laut aane ki umeed ho…
Jahan umeed hi mar jaaye,
Wahan insaan shikayat nahi karta…
Bas khamosh ho jaata hai.
Aur meri zindagi mein
Khamoshiyan bahut hain…
Kuch khamoshiyan
Un sawaalon ki
Jinka jawab kabhi mila nahi…
Kuch un rishton ki
Jinhe maine dil se nibhaya,
Magar saamne wale ne
Sirf zarurat tak rakha…
Kuch un lafzon ki
Jo honton tak aaye,
Magar is darr se wapas chale gaye
Ke kahin sach kehne se
Koi apna aur door na ho jaaye…
Aur kuch khamoshiyan…
Ek aise shakhs ke naam ki,
Jise dil ne kabhi gair maana hi nahi,
Chahe zindagi ne use
Kabhi mera hone hi na diya…
Kabhi-kabhi sochta hoon—
Agar zindagi ek baar pooch leti,
“Bata, tujhe kya chahiye?”
Toh shayad main
Daulat nahi maangta,
Shohrat nahi maangta,
Badi duniya nahi maangta…
Bas kuch purane lamhe maang leta…
Woh waqt
Jab dil itna samajhdaar nahi tha…
Woh neend
Jisme fikrein nahi hoti thi…
Woh hansi
Jiske peeche koi dard nahi tha…
Aur…
Woh ek shakhs,
Jiske paas baithkar
Mujhe duniya se aur kuch nahi chahiye hota…
Magar waqt bhi kitna ajeeb saudagar hai…
Jo cheez humein sabse zyada pyaari hoti hai,
Aksar usi ko yaad bana kar
Hamare paas chhod deta hai…
Aur phir poori umr
Hum us yaad ko sambhalte hue
Ye dikhawa karte rehte hain
Ke hum aage badh chuke hain…
Sach kahun?
Kuch logon se insaan aage nahi badhta…
Bas unke bina chalna seekh leta hai.
Unki yaad kam nahi hoti,
Bas uska zikr kam ho jaata hai…
Dard khatam nahi hota,
Bas sehne ki aadat ho jaati hai…
Aankhein rona nahi chhodti,
Bas aansu
Logon ke saamne girna chhod dete hain…
Phir ek din
Aaina dekhte hue mehsoos hota hai—
Chehra wahi hai…
Magar chehre ke peeche wala insaan
Kitna badal gaya…
Jo kabhi har kisi ko rok leta tha,
Ab jaane walon ko raasta de deta hai…
Jo kabhi har baat ka jawab chahta tha,
Ab kuch sawaalon ko
Bina jawab ke hi dafan kar deta hai…
Jo kabhi kisi ke badal jaane par
Raat bhar rota tha,
Ab sirf muskura kar kehta hai—
“Khush raho…”
Aur ye do lafz
Kabhi-kabhi
Mohabbat ka sabse dardnaak roop hote hain…
Kyunki unke andar chhupa hota hai—
“Tum mere saath khush nahi reh sake,
Toh kam se kam mere bina hi khush rehna…”
Phir socha
Apni haar likhun…
Magar pata chala
Main haara kahan hoon?
Haan, kuch log nahi mile…
Kuch khwab poore nahi hue…
Kuch rishte toot gaye…
Kuch apne badal gaye…
Magar itna sab hone ke baad bhi
Mere andar kisi ke liye nafrat paida nahi hui…
Shayad meri sabse badi jeet yahi hai.
Main aaj bhi dua deta hoon
Un logon ko bhi
Jinhone mujhe raaton ko rulaya…
Kyunki main nahi chahta
Ke jo dard mujhe mila,
Woh kisi aur ke naseeb mein aaye…
Aur jis shakhs ko
Mera dil sabse zyada chahta raha…
Uske liye toh
Aaj bhi dil se bas yahi nikalta hai—
“Ya Allah…
Agar woh meri kismat mein nahi,
Toh meri zid se uski zindagi mushkil mat karna…
Use jahan rakhna, khush rakhna…
Jiske saath rakhna, mehfooz rakhna…
Uski aankhon ki chamak kabhi kam na hone dena…
Aur agar kabhi uske dil par bojh aaye,
Toh uske hisse ka kuch dard bhi
Mere naseeb mein likh dena…”
Kyunki mohabbat ka matlab
Sirf kisi ko paa lena hota,
Toh shayad duniya mein
Adhoori mohabbat itni khoobsurat na hoti…
Kuch mohabbatein mukammal hokar khatam ho jaati hain…
Aur kuch adhuri rehkar
Insaan ke andar hamesha ke liye zinda ho jaati hain.
Ab agar koi mujhse pooche—
“Tumhari kahani kya hai?”
Toh shayad main
Koi kitaab na dikhaun…
Bas muskura kar kahun—
Meri kahani?
Kuch khwab the
Jo aankhon tak aaye,
Magar zindagi tak nahi…
Kuch log the
Jo zindagi mein aaye,
Magar zindagi bhar nahi…
Kuch lafz the
Jo dil mein rahe,
Magar honton tak nahi…
Kuch aansu the
Jo aankhon mein aaye,
Magar duniya ke saamne nahi…
Aur…
Ek mohabbat thi…
Jise maine dil ki
Sabse khoobsurat jagah di…
Us par kabhi haq nahi jataya,
Usse kabhi apni majboori nahi banaya,
Uski khushi ke badle
Kabhi apni mohabbat ka sila nahi maanga…
Bas chup-chaap chaha…
Itna chaha
Ke ek waqt ke baad
Use paane ki khwahish bhi
Uske khush rehne ki dua ke saamne
Chhoti lagne lagi…
Aur shayad…
Meri poori kahani ka
Sabse khoobsurat aur sabse dardnaak jumla
Bas itna hi hai—
“Jise main apni kahani ka aakhri safha banana chahta tha…
Zindagi ne use meri kahani ka
sabse khoobsurat adhura panna bana diya.”
Aur agar kabhi
Woh shakhs meri ye kahani padhe…
Toh main nahi chahta
Ke use afsos ho…
Bas ek pal ke liye
Uska dil khamosh ho…
Aur use mehsoos ho—
“Duniya ki bheed mein
Koi tha…
Jisne mujhe paane se zyada
Mujhe chaha tha.”
Koi tha
Jisne mera naam duniya se chhupaya,
Magar apne dil se kabhi nahi…
Koi tha
Jisne mujhe apni kismat mein na paakar bhi
Apni duaon se kabhi juda nahi kiya…
Koi tha
Jo mera ho na saka…
Magar jiski kahani mein
Main kabhi kisi aur jaisi nahi thi… ❤️🥀
Aur ek aakhri line…
“Tum meri zindagi ka woh hissa ho jise main duniya ko suna nahi saka… aur dil se mita nahi saka.” ❤️
