🖤 “Mere Andar Ka Woh Shakhs Mar Gaya…”

“Mujhe dard is baat ka nahi ke log badal gaye…
dard toh is baat ka hai ke unhe samajhte-samajhte
main khud woh insaan nahi raha, jo kabhi hua karta tha.
Phir bhi ek cheez bacha kar rakhi hai—mera dil;
kyunki mujhe todne walon ki sabse badi haar yahi hai
ke main toot kar bhi unke jaisa nahi bana.” ❤️‍🩹

-Zulfikar Inamdar

🖤 “Mere Andar Ka Woh Shakhs Mar Gaya…”

Arz kiya hai…

Mujhe barbaad karne ke liye
Kisi dushman ki zarurat hi nahi padi,
Mere apne hi kaafi the…
Jo gale toh mohabbat se mile,
Magar har mulaqat ke baad
Mere andar kuch na kuch todte chale gaye…

Main woh shakhs tha
Jo kisi ke chehre par udaasi dekh kar
Apni khushi bhool jaata tha,
Kisi ki aankh mein aansu aa jaaye
Toh wajah jaane bina
Uska dard apna bana leta tha…

Mujhe kya khabar thi
Ke duniya mein kuch log
Dil tak pahunchte hi isliye hain,
Taake ek din wahi dil
Sabse behtar tareeqe se tod sakein…

Meri saadgi mera gunaah nahi thi,
Magar logon ne uski saza
Mujhe umr bhar ke liye de di…

Kisi ne meri mohabbat ko aadat samjha,
Kisi ne meri wafaa ko majboori,
Kisi ne meri khamoshi ko kamzori samjha,
Aur kisi ne mere sabr ko
Apni hadd paar karne ki ijazat…

Main har baar khamosh raha…

Isliye nahi ke mere paas
Jawab nahi tha,
Balki isliye ke jinse mohabbat ho
Unse lafzon ki jung jeet kar bhi
Insaan aksar rishta haar jaata hai…

Main rishton ko bachata raha,
Aur dheere-dheere
Khud ko khota raha…

Ek waqt aaya
Jab aaine ke saamne khada hua
Toh chehra mera hi tha,
Magar aankhon mein
Woh purana insaan nahi mila…

Maine khud se poocha—

“Kahan gaya woh shakhs
Jo chhoti si baat par khush ho jaata tha?
Jo logon ke laut aane ki umeed rakhta tha?
Jo maafi maange bina bhi maaf kar deta tha?
Jo toot kar bhi kehta tha—
Koi baat nahi…”

Aaina khamosh raha…

Magar meri aankhon se gira hua
Ek aansu jaise keh gaya—

“Woh shakhs mara nahi…
Bas logon ko khush rakhte-rakhte
Apne andar kahin dafan ho gaya hai…”

Us din samajh aaya,
Meri zindagi ka sabse bada nuksaan
Kisi ka mujhe chhod jaana nahi tha…

Sabse bada nuksaan toh ye tha
Ke logon ko rokne ki koshish mein
Main khud se bichhad gaya…

Kitni raaton ko
Takkiye ne meri aankhon ki nami sambhali hai,
Kitni baar dil cheekha hai
Aur honton ne kaha—
“Main theek hoon…”

Ye “main theek hoon” bhi
Kitna ajeeb jhoot hai…

Kehne mein sirf teen lafz,
Magar unke peeche
Kitni adhoori khwahishein,
Kitne toote bharose,
Kitne chupaye hue aansu,
Aur kitne dafan sawaal hote hain—
Ye sirf kehne wala jaanta hai…

Ab mujhe kisi ke jaane se
Utna darr nahi lagta…

Darr toh ab kisi ke
bahut kareeb aane se lagta hai…

Kyunki door jaane wale
Sirf door jaate hain,
Magar bahut kareeb aakar jaane wale
Apne saath insaan ka
Ek hissa bhi le jaate hain…

Isliye ab koi kahe
“Main hamesha tumhare saath rahunga…”
Toh dil khush hone se pehle
Ghabra jaata hai…

Kyunki “hamesha” ke waade hi
Aksar sabse jaldi
“kabhi nahi” mein badalte dekhe hain…

Ab main logon se
Shikayat bhi nahi karta…

Kya faayda kisi ko batane ka
Ke usne kahan dard diya,
Jab teer chalane wale ko
Pehle se maloom tha
Ke dil kahan hai…

Ab toh bas chup ho jaata hoon…

Aur meri ye khamoshi
Meri haar nahi hai…

Ye un tamaam cheekhon ka qabristan hai
Jinhe kabhi kisi ne suna hi nahi…

Kabhi-kabhi dil chahta hai
Ke phir se pehle jaisa ho jaaun,
Bina soche kisi par bharosa kar loon,
Khul kar hansu,
Befikr mohabbat karun,
Aur kisi ko apna kehne se pehle
Sau sawaal na karun…

Magar phir guzra hua waqt
Mera haath pakad leta hai…

Aur kehta hai—

“Wapas us jagah mat jaana
Jahan se khud ko sametne mein
Tumhe saalon lag gaye…”

Isliye ab maine
Logon ko maaf karna seekh liya hai…

Magar unhe dobara
Wahi jagah dena nahi…

Main kisi se badla nahi chahta,
Kisi ki barbaadi ki dua nahi karta,
Kisi ke aansu dekhkar
Mujhe sukoon nahi milta…

Kyunki itna sab hone ke baad bhi
Mere andar ek cheez
Abhi tak zinda hai—

Mera dil…

Woh dil
Jise duniya ne patthar banana chaha,
Magar woh aaj bhi
Kisi ka dard dekhkar pighal jaata hai…

Bas farq itna hai—

Pehle main har kisi ke liye
Apna darwaza khula rakhta tha,
Ab dastak sunta hoon…
Chehra pehchanta hoon…
Niyat samajhta hoon…
Phir dil kholta hoon…

Log ise mera badal jaana kehte hain…

Main ise apne bache hue hisse ko
Bacha lena kehta hoon…

Aur agar kabhi
Woh log mujhe yaad karein
Jinhone mujhe andar se toda tha,
Toh unse meri koi shikayat mat kehna…

Bas itna keh dena—

“Jise tumne kamzor samajhkar toda tha,
Woh toot toh gaya tha…
Magar bikhar kar bhi
Tumhare jaisa nahi bana.”

Usne nafrat nahi seekhi,
Badla nahi seekha,
Kisi ka dil todna nahi seekha…

Usne bas
Khamosh rehna seekh liya,
Akele chalna seekh liya,
Aansu chhupana seekh liya,
Aur un logon ke bagair jeena seekh liya
Jinke bagair kabhi
Jeene ka tasavvur tak nahi tha…

Aur haan…

Mujhe mere purane roop mein
Dhoondhne ki koshish mat karna…

Woh insaan
Jo har kisi ko apna maanta tha,
Jo baar-baar toot kar bhi
Wahi bharosa lekar laut aata tha…

Woh ab kahin nahi milta…

Kyunki kuch log
Meri zindagi se sirf guzre nahi the…

Woh jaate-jaate
Mere andar ka ek poora zamana
Apne saath le gaye… 🖤🥀