“Mohabbat tab toot’ti hai, Jab saamne wala block nahi karta… Bas dekhna hi chhod deta hai.”
– Zulfikar Inamdar
Pehchaan Kar Bhi Anjaan
Arz kiya hai ke…
“Wo mujhe dekh rahi hogi…” ye soch kar main Truecaller kholta hoon… Jaise meri zindagi ka koi hissa ab bhi uski screen par zinda ho.
Par haqeeqat itni khamosh hai ke Uski nazar ab mere naam tak bhi nahi pohochti… Aur main… ab bhi uske ehsaas se bahar nahi aa paata.
Kabhi meri ek missed call par wo bechain ho jaati thi, Aaj meri hazaar koshishen bhi Uske dil tak ek vibration nahi bhej paati.
Main aaj bhi uska naam search karta hoon, Jaise kisi purani kitaab mein Apni hi kahaani ka adhoora safha dhoond raha hoon…
Har unknown number mein uski awaaz dhoondhta hoon, Har ring par dil umeed se bhar jaata hai… Aur har baar jab wo nahi hoti, Toh lagta hai zindagi ne phir se mazaak kar diya.
Kabhi kabhi sochta hoon… Agar wo achanak saamne aa jaaye, Toh kya wo rukegi…? Ya phir pehchaan kar bhi anjaan ban jaayegi…
Aur main… Phir bhi us ek nazar ko apni zindagi samajh lunga.
“Jab insaan khud se mohabbat karna seekh leta hai, to duniya ki har kami chhoti lagne lagti hai… kyuki usse apni keemat samajh aa jaati hai.”
– Zulfikar Inamdar
“Khud Se Mulaqat — (Jab Insaan Khud Se Mohabbat Karna Seekh Leta Hai):”
Arz kiya hai… ke…
Kabhi kabhi zindagi itni door le jaati hai… Ke insaan khud ko dhoondhne nahi, Khud ko paane lagta hai.
Main wahi hoon… Jo kabhi khud se bhaagta tha, Jo har dard se chhupna chahta tha, Jo har baar toot kar khud ko hi dosh deta tha.
Par aaj… kuch badal gaya hai.
Na duniya badli hai… Na log… Na kismat.
Badla hoon to bas main… Aur ye badlav dheere nahi, Andar se aaya hai.
Ab main khud se ladta nahi… Main khud ko samajhta hoon.
Ab main apni kamiyaan chhupata nahi… Main unhe apna leta hoon.
Kyuki ab mujhe samajh aa gaya hai — jo insaan apni kamiyaan qabool kar leta hai, wo kisi aur ke faislon se kabhi nahi toot’ta.
Main ab perfect hone ki koshish nahi karta, Main real rehne ki himmat karta hoon.
Haan, mujhe dard hua tha… Aur bohot gehra hua tha… Par ab wo dard meri kamzori nahi, Meri pehchaan ban gaya hai.
Ab main kisi ke jaane se khud ko khone nahi deta, Aur kisi ke aane se khud ko badalne nahi deta.
Ab main kisi ka intezaar nahi karta… Kyuki mujhe pata hai — jo mujhe samjhega, wo khud chal kar aayega… Aur jo nahi samjhega, uske liye main rukunga nahi.
Kabhi kabhi aaj bhi tanha baithta hoon… Par ab wo tanhaayi dard nahi deti… Wo mujhe mere kareeb le aati hai.
Main apne aap se baat karta hoon… Aur pehli baar, mujhe apni hi baatein achi lagti hain.
Main khud ko dheere se kehta hoon —
“Tu ab badal gaya hai… Par galat nahi hua.
Tu ab akela hai… Par tanha nahi hai.
Tu ab toot’tā nahi… Tu samajhta hai.”
Aur phir ek ajeeb si sukoon milta hai… Jaise dil ne khud ko finally accept kar liya ho.
Ab mujhe kisi saboot ki zarurat nahi… Na kisi tasdeeq ki… Na kisi ki tasalli ki.
Kyuki ab main jaanta hoon — main kaafi hoon.
Aur sach bataun bhai… Jis din insaan ye samajh leta hai na, Us din uski zindagi badalti nahi… Us din wo khud badal jaata hai.
Kabhi kabhi to mera khud se milne ka dil karta… Aur ab jab milta hoon, To khud se pyaar ho jaata hai.
Aur main muskura kar kehta hoon —
“Shukriya… Mujhe chhod kar bhi… Mera intezaar karne ke liye.”
“Sabse badi azaadi tab milti hai, jab insaan khud ko maaf kar deta hai… kyuki uske baad, duniya ka koi ilzaam usse tod nahi sakta.”
– Zulfikar Inamdar
“Khud Se Mulaqat — (Jab Insaan Khud Ko Maaf Kar Deta Hai):”
Arz kiya hai ke…
Kabhi kabhi lagta hai… Khud se milna mushkil nahi hota, Mushkil hota hai… Khud ko maaf karna.
Main us din khud ke saamne khada tha, Jahan koi aur nahi tha… Na koi ilzaam, na koi shor… Sirf main… aur meri sachchai.
Maine dheere se poocha — “Tu itna toot kyu gaya tha…?”
Aur andar se awaaz aayi — “Kyuki tu har jagah apna dil le gaya… Aur wapas aate waqt… khud ko wahin chhod aaya.”
Ye sun kar… Maine pehli baar apne aap par gussa nahi kiya… Balki afsos hua — Ke maine khud ke saath kitni na-insaafi ki.
Maine dusron ko maaf kar diya tha… Unki galtiyon ko samajh liya tha… Par sabse bada bojh ye tha — Ke maine khud ko kabhi maaf hi nahi kiya.
Main har raat apne aap ko dosh deta raha, Har galti ka bojh uthata raha… Jaise main insaan nahi… Ek adalat hoon… Jahan har faisla mere khilaaf hi hota hai.
Kabhi kabhi main apne aap se kehta tha — “Tu aur behtar kar sakta tha…” “Tu aur sambhal sakta tha…”
Par kabhi ye nahi kaha — “Tu bhi thak gaya tha…” “Tu bhi toot raha tha…”
Us din… maine faisla kiya — Ke ab main khud ka judge nahi… Khud ka saathi banunga.
Maine dheere se apni aankhein band ki… Aur apne dil par haath rakh kar kaha —
“Main tujhe maaf karta hoon…”
Un galtiyon ke liye… Jo tu ne samajh ke bina ki… Un logon ke liye… Jinhe tu ne zarurat se zyada ahmiyat di… Aur sabse zyada… Is baat ke liye — Ke tu ne khud ko itna dard diya.
Us pal… Mujhe laga jaise saalon ka bojh halka ho gaya… Jaise main pehli baar… Sach me saans le raha hoon.
Ab main perfect nahi hoon… Par main saccha hoon.
Ab main tootne se nahi darta… Kyuki ab mujhe pata hai… Main khud ko sambhal sakta hoon.
Kabhi kabhi aaj bhi dil karta hai… Khud se milne ka…
Par ab wo mulaqat dard nahi deti… Sukoon deti hai.
Ab main khud ko judge nahi karta… Main khud ko samajhta hoon… Aur zarurat pade… to gale laga leta hoon.
Aur aaj main khud se kehta hoon —
“Tu galat nahi tha… Tu bas seekh raha tha.
Tu kamzor nahi tha… Tu bas insaan tha.
Aur ab… Tu akela nahi hai… Kyuki tu khud ke saath hai.”
“Insaan tab tak adhoora rehta hai, jab tak wo khud se bhaagta rehta hai… Aur jis din wo khud ka haath pakad leta hai, us din andhera bhi uska raasta roshan kar deta hai.”
– Zulfikar Inamdar
“Khud Se Mulaqat — Andhere Se Roshni Tak:”
Arz kiya hai… ke…
Kabhi kabhi to mera khud se milne ka dil karta, Maine bohot kuch suna hai apne baare me…
Har kisi ke paas meri ek kahani hai, Magar ajeeb baat ye hai… Us kahani me main kabhi khud nahi hota.
Par kabhi kisi ne ye nahi poocha… Ke main khud apne baare me kya mehsoos karta hoon.
Kabhi kabhi main khud ke kareeb aata hoon, To ek ajeeb sa darr lagta hai… Kahin aisa na ho ke sach me main wahi hoon, Jo duniya kehti hai.
Main khud se nazrein milane se ghabrata hoon, Kyuki agar sach saamne aa gaya… To shayad main toot jaaunga.
Aur sach bataun… Main pehle hi toot chuka hoon.
Maine apni awaaz ko khamoshi me dafan kar diya, Kyuki jab bhi bola… galat samjha gaya. Maine apni muskurahat logon me baant di, Aur badle me sirf tanhaayi mili.
Main dheere dheere apne hi andar kho gaya… Itna ke agar aaj khud se milun, To pehchaan bhi na paaun.
Aur phir ek din… Main sach me khud ke saamne baith gaya.
Na koi awaaz thi… na koi ilzaam… Bas main tha… aur meri rooh.
Maine dheere se poocha — “Tu kaun hai…?”
Pehle to khamoshi rahi… Phir ek halki si awaaz aayi —
“Main wahi hoon… jise tu ne sab ke liye chhod diya.”
Us pal sab kuch ruk sa gaya… Jaise waqt ne bhi meri taraf dekh kar saans rok li ho.
Maine phir poocha — “Tu itna akela kyun hai…?”
Aur wo muskura kar bola — “Kyuki tu har kisi ka ho gaya… par kabhi khud ka nahi bana.”
Ye sun kar… Mere andar kuch toot kar bikhar gaya… Aur usi tootne me se ek ajeeb si roshni bhi nikalne lagi.
Mujhe samajh aaya… Ke main bura nahi tha… Main bas zyada sachcha tha.
Main kamzor nahi tha… Main bas zyada mehsoos karta tha.
Aur meri sabse badi galti ye nahi thi ke log badal gaye… Balki ye thi ke main khud ko bhool gaya.
Us din pehli baar, Maine khud ko judge nahi kiya… Maine khud ko gale lagaya.
Haan, main toot chuka hoon… Par main khatam nahi hua.
Haan, main akela hoon… Par ab main khud ke saath hoon.
Aur ab… Agar duniya mujhe samjhe ya na samjhe, Mujhe farq nahi padta… Kyuki ab main khud ko samajhne laga hoon.
Kabhi kabhi to mera khud se milne ka dil karta… Aur ab jab milta hoon, To khud se ladta nahi… Khud ko apna leta hoon.
Aur dheere se kehta hoon —
“Tu gira tha… Par uth gaya.
Tu toota tha… Par bikhar kar bhi khud ko jod gaya.
“Jab maut aati hai, to insaan se sab kuch cheen leti hai… siwaaye uske aamaal ke.”
– Zulfikar Inamdar
“Tu… Aur Tera Aakhri Sach”
Arz kiya hai… ke…
Tu gurur karta hai na… Apni zindagi par, apni pehchaan par, apne wajood par…
Lagta hai tujhe ke tu kuch khaas hai… Ke duniya tere hone se chal rahi hai…
Par sach sun… Tu bhi unhi raaston ka musafir hai, Jo seedha kabrastan ki taraf jaate hain…
Tu roz uthta hai, sapne banata hai, Apni jeet ke liye logon ko peeche chhodta hai… Kabhi kisi ka dil todta hai, Kabhi kisi ko sirf isliye bhool jaata hai… Kyunke tujhe lagta hai ke waqt bahut hai…
Par ek din… Waqt tujhe bata dega ke woh tera kabhi tha hi nahi…
Ek din tu bhi aakhri baar aankhein band karega… Aur tujhe pata bhi nahi chalega… Ke jis duniya ko tu pakad ke baitha tha, Woh tere haathon se phisal chuki hai…
Log tujhe ghusl denge… Safed kapde mein lapet denge… Aur phir… Tujhe kandhon par utha kar le jaayenge…
“Sabse zyada dhokha wahi dete hain jo shuru me sabse zyada meetha bolte hain… aur sabse gehra dard wahi deta hai jise hum sabse zyada apna samajhte hain.”
– Zulfikar Inamdar
Behta Hua Dard:
Arz kiya hai ke…
Mujhe karne aate hai pareshan, apne mithe pyaare alfāzo me ghulkar, jo lafz kabhi dua bankar dil par utarte the, aaj wahi zehar ban kar rag rag me phail jaate hain, woh baatein jo kabhi sukoon deti thi, aaj unhi ki goonj se bechaini badh jaati hai, aur hum samajh nahi paate ke galti un lafzon ki thi ya hamare yaqeen ki…
Woh muskurahat, woh lehja, woh narmi—sab kuch kitna sachcha lagta tha, jaise har baat me ek apnapan basa ho, jaise har mulaqat me ek rishta sa jee uthe, par dheere dheere yeh ehsaas hua ke kuch chehre sirf tab tak apne lagte hain jab tak unhe tumhari zaroorat hoti hai, aur jab zaroorat khatam ho jaaye to wahi chehre ajnabi bankar saamne khade ho jaate hain…
Jab unka kaam nikal jaye, to tum kaun aur hum kaun— yeh sirf alfaaz nahi, yeh ek faisla hai jo woh khamoshi me suna dete hain, aur hum der tak us khamoshi ko samajhne ki koshish karte rehte hain, jaise kisi band darwaze se awaaz dene ki zid ho, jiska jawab kabhi aana hi nahi…
Hum unke liye jazbaat likhte rahe, woh humse zaroorat ka hisaab lete rahe, humne wafa ko ibadat samjha, unhone use aadat bana kar chhod diya, humne har rishta dil se joda, unhone har rishta waqt se tol kar tod diya, aur aakhir me hum hi khud se haar gaye…
Dard ka asal matlab tab samajh aata hai, jab koi tumhe chhod kar nahi, balki tumhe istemaal karke chhodta hai, jaise tum kabhi the hi nahi, jaise tumhara koi wajood hi na ho, jaise tum sirf ek zaroorat the, jiska waqt poora ho chuka ho…
Kabhi humne socha tha ke mohabbat me bewafayi hoti hai, par baad me samajh aaya ke bewafayi nahi hoti, log sirf apni asli surat tab dikhate hain jab unhe tumhari zaroorat nahi rehti…
Phir ek din tum khud ke saamne khade hote ho, aur poochte ho—main itna sasta tha ya woh itne mehange the, par jawab me sirf ek gehri khamoshi milti hai, jo dheere dheere tumhari rooh me utar kar tumhe andar se badal deti hai…
Aur phir tum badalne lagte ho, nafrat se nahi, samajh se… tum lafzon ki meethas par yaqeen karna chhod dete ho, tum chehron ke peeche chhupi niyat ko padhna seekh jaate ho, tum wahan rukna chhod dete ho jahan baatein zyada aur sach kam hota hai…
Ab tum mohabbat nahi dhoondte, sukoon dhoondte ho, aur sukoon un logon me kabhi nahi milta jo rishton ko zaroorat ka sauda samajh kar jeete hain…
Aur jab koi poochta hai ke phir se waisa pyaar karoge, to dil ek pal ke liye ruk jaata hai, aankhein halka sa muskura deti hain, aur rooh dheere se kehti hai— ab hum sirf yaad rakhte hain, ehsaas nahi karte… ab hum sirf samajhte hain, magar phir se tootne ki himmat nahi rakhte…
Sher O Shayeri 